THE CITY OF BURDEN
AND OF THE BURDENED
START RECORDING A JOURNAL.
The sun is high over the muted city
You have frittered much of the day away
“I should record my thoughts!
It’s never too late to start!”
A newfound sense of optimism and determination overtakes you
As you reach into your chest of personal effects
Searching for a pencil and some parchment
“History will need to know what happened here!”
You stare at the blank page
Wondering where to begin
Yourself perhaps?
Unremarkable
Physically
Emotionally
In many ways this day seems like any other
Except that spring has arrived
And that’s quite pleasant
You wonder if anyone else is enjoying it
Maggie loves the spring
You shouldn’t think about Maggie
Yet you do
And why not?
What’s wrong with enjoying spring?
With wanting to go for a walk?
With wishing you could walk outside with Maggie?
If Maggie ever speaks to you again
There’s a knot swelling in the pit of your stomach
Equal parts anger and remorse
And nascent regret
Why doesn’t she send you letters?
You wish you could take back what you said
You wish you could hold her
It’s too much to think about
Yet you do
You meticulously analyze the final days
The hours
The minutes